Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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