Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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