I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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