Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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