Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize