At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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