After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
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You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
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So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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