Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
