ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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