you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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