I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
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