IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize