wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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