Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize