I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
