I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You smell like stripper and shame
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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