god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
