Where are you?
In a non slutty way
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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