he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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