I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
