Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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