they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
