I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is it penis luge time yet?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
