hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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