Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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