My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
