It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
