bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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