She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
