I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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