i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
