he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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