Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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