i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
