Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
