if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
