Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
