So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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