Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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