Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
