Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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