oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
