Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
This house was built for laser tag.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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