yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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