Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize