people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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