the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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