the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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