I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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