She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
