She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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