bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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