You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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