I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
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She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
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According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week