double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?