In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
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we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
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So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE