I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday