She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
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You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
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Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis