So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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