Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
